This is something I wrote back on January 24, 2012 one year after my left lung was removed. I am not sure if I want to work backwards or start back at the very beginning so for now enjoy!
I cannot wipe the smile off my face! From the moment I woke up today I have been so happy and full of life.
Today is the one year anniversary of the day my family, friends and I went through hell. Today is the anniversary of the day my life was forever changed. I now have one lung. And on this day a year ago and the days that followed I fought like hell to get where I am right now.
“If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell.”
I am not 100% yet but I am so much better than I was a year ago, Who could have imagined where I would be after that awful week. I hear stories about that week and think "wow my body was tired but, my soul, my strong soul was not going to give up."
I try to choose to live everyday to the fullest to make the most of what I have today... I am human though and I have bad days but those days seem to be far and few between. Today after work I couldn't help but pick up the phone and call my surgeon and thank him for helping to play a part in changing my life. I didn't get to talk to him but I talked with his nurse and she was so happy to from me and said she would be sure to let Dr. K and all the guys (Connors and Mauney) know that I called to say Happy 1 year!
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place."
I do still have memories that come flashing back about that time in the hospital... they are mostly ok thoughts like the day that I had the breathing tube removed for good... I remember my 3 visitors that I actually got to talk to... my cousin Diane, my dad, and dr. Rinder. Then we had a big winter storm and I didn't see anyone for a day. and then there are the memories I wish I could forget like lying down in the CT scan and not being able to breathe that's when I knew whatever was wrong with me was bad and then I would forget everything till that day I breathed on my own. The brain is an amazing organ and it does a pretty good job of forgetting scary things. But since then life is good and I plan on it staying this way for a very very long time.
"Scars are just tattoos with BETTER stories." and I have a lot of them and I would never want to go through all of this again but I would NEVER change it. My bumps in the road have made me who I am today and I love the person that person!
"If you knew me yesterday, please do not think that I am the same person you are meeting today. I have experience more of life, I have encountered new depths in those I love, I have suffered and prayed, and I am different"
I want to thank first and foremost my parents for always being by my side. Taking care of me and loving me though everything... For what I have gone though so have you. My siblings I know that I put stress and fear in your young innocent lives... I love you both and am so proud to be your big sister. To my aunts, uncles, cousins and my whole family I love you and I know that I could not have gotten this far without your love and prayers. To my friends I would name you all but then if I forgot someone I would feel dumb I love you all and am so happy that you are in my life. To the doctors (new and old) both those that took care of me and those who just came in to spend time with me thank you. Thank you for answering God's call. Thank you for shaping my life and making me the woman I am today. To the nurses (new and old) thank you for showing me compassion and loving me as if I was one of your family members. I will remember your love and try to always pay it forward. To PT and OT thank you for being my support to lean on when I had to regain strength to walk and hold/pick up things... thanks for knowing when to push my harder and knowing when I just needed a pep talk of inspiration to restore my faith in ME.
They say it takes courage I say it just takes faith, prayers, and a whole lot of love!
Thank you everyone for being my prayer warriors, my cheerleaders, my support system. I love you all so very much!
Until next time love and prayers,
Em
"You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they have taught me."
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