Down and Out

So I guess we will just say that I have chronic nausea got to admit it’s the worst feeling ever.  And I would do anything in the world to not have it…

I had my first open heart surgery when I was 9 years old. Then four more all before the age of 24, I grew up having asthma and then in January of 2011 I had my left lung removed.  I guess after all that one might think that nausea isn’t so bad considering. And maybe it would be if I weighed more than a kid.

After going to my primary I learned so much in fact I need to call him more and the G.I. doctor less…. Well maybe he found me a new one today. Everything that was said in that room today was true and I guess because I trust him so very much I was able to let down my guard and cry like I’ve needed to for so long now.

 Srong people cry too!

I don’t have to have it all together all the time the people who care and love me will always love me thru thick and thin and I had that great reminder today. I have a lot of weight to gain and a lot of healing that still needs to take place both mentally, and physically. But with all the love and support that I have though family and friends I know that I will be ok.

Why did I think I had to have it all together all the time? Because I would rather help, worry or fix someone else’s problem. I dont need people to worry with me that have for so long lets take care of others. (this is what I think at least)

I also realized that I don’t have to be super happy and excited all the time and it is okay to switch doctors if you don’t trust, or believe that the one you have for you is the right one even if they are the smartest ones out there.

I know that I will be ok! I know that it is okay to cry it is NOT a sign of weakness and its okay to have days that are not perfect. I also know that I have great family and amazing friends whom I love with all my heart and soul and I thank them for being by my side though thick and thin… The ride is not over yet but like my doctor I got to keep chugging along because you never know what the bigger plane is and you never know what surprise this trial cause be getting you ready for. I though the healing process was over but the truth is its NOT…. Not yet. Got to keep fighting the fight but you can cry if you need to “I will be there to dry your eyes.”

“When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.”

It has been a rough day but I know in my heart that better days are to come!

Until Next Time

Love and Prayers,

EM

A little late...

So the last time that I updated this was after I had a bronc and met Dr. Patterson!

So on March 20^th I went down to Barnes to have another bronc this time Dr. Patterson would be the doctor performing the procedure.  It went really well in fact everything moved very fast and turned out I knew my anesthesiologist (Dr. Meek).

                 Dr. Meek is the one on the left... and yes his hair always looks perfect!

He is a very sweet, brilliant doctor with the bed side manners of a saint! So when I was done I went to recovery 1 to wake up and make sure that everything was okay. Then after that it was off to recovery 2 where I would get to see my mom and talk to Dr. Patterson. Dr. Patterson informed both my mom and I that the leak where air was coming into my chest cavity was much smaller than the pictures he had seen the weeks before. And what Dr. Connors did was working it just needed more time to show the outcome! He went ahead and added more gel/glue and told me to get a x-ray in 2-3 weeks and that I did not need to see him unless I became really sick or Dr. Daud or Connors needed him to!

                   Some of the men who work hard to keep me active. Connors, K, and Mauney

                                

                             Wish I had a picture of me and Dr. Daud I will work on that.

So after that it was home bond to rest. Little did I know that when I woke up I would have nausea so bad that I would need to go to Missouri Baptist to try and control the awful feeling that would not go away. I spent 8 days in the hospital and still didn’t feel very good when I came home. But with tender, love and care I am starting to feel better!

Easter was good and I was able to go back to work but then this pass Thursday I had a little set back with feeling sick again and ended up having to give up my baseball tickets to my mom and sis. (Anyone who knows me knows that there is not much that can keep me from my boys of summer.)

Monday I took the day off rested up and went and saw the doctor…. Not really sure why nothing changed that much that I couldn’t have done over the phone. But the best part was that I ran into Dr. Daud and he had me go get my overdue x-ray and said we would be in touch later that day…

At 3:17 on Monday April 16th I received the best news ever! The leak is no more my chest cavity is no longer full of air but filled with fluid like it should be! And I don’t need to come see him till summer and I can start working out again.

Today my friends Carrie and Jim had their second baby. A sweet little boy named Michael James! And my friend Jill is getting married this weekend! I love good news and hope that I can share good news with you all more often! Thanks for all the love and prayers!

Also please continue to keep sweet Katie in your thoughts and prayers!

                                                          Isn't Katie BEAUTIFUL?!!!!!

“Believe that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Believe that you might be that light for someone else.”

I can handle news like this.....

Today I had an x-ray today to check on the leak that the doctors have been trying to fix... And fluid is back and air is gone!

When I am off my meds I will explain this better!

"How could you expect me to live without you? One cannont become accustomed to the loss of happiness."

WHY NOT YOU?

It’s been awhile since I have written and a lot has gone down since then but for now I leave you with the question...

 “Why me?”

Think about it.

 Brings up a lot of things doesn’t it?

Stay tuned!

P.S. Happy Opening Day To My St. Louis Cards! Now this is the life!